Yo-Ya-Ma Grief Series
Yo-Ya-Ma is a collection of short stories to help families with young children cope with the loss of a parent.
The series is inspired by Priya Pinto’s own life. After losing her husband when her son Yo and daughter Ya were just nine and seven, the biggest challenge that Priya faced was guiding her children through this difficult period with no handbook or guide from anyone who had gone through a similar experience.
While trying to find her own answers Priya realised that the key challenges faced by all grieving families were similar. Each story in this series deals with one such challenge which is posed as a question by a nine-year-old boy Yo and his seven-year-old sister Ya to their mother. The answers they discover together as a family are presented as simple practical tips and exercises that young kids can relate to and the surviving parent can use to navigate the grieving period.
Ma, why does everything have to change?
When a loved one passes away, most tend to stay stuck, wishing that life could be the same again. It is difficult but important to face reality and accept that life has changed. Seeing the good in change is a great way to do this. It is only when we accept change and adapt that we heal and grow.
Ma, what will make the pain go away?
After a loss, the family left behind tends to feel sad all the time. Kids especially, seeing their friends with both parents, are constantly reminded of what they no more have. But hiding our sadness or suppressing it is far from ideal. Talking openly about our feelings is what truly helps us heal. Leaning on loved ones and seeking support also go a long way in helping us cope.
Ma, why do people treat us differently?
Death impacts more than just the immediate family. It makes friends, colleagues and acquaintances uncomfortable, sometimes causing a break in relationships. But we must realise that their discomfort arises from not knowing the right thing to say or do. If we are comfortable talking about our loss or sharing how we feel, we can put others at ease too.
Ma, will birthdays be fun again?
Special days with their celebrations and traditions that were once our most joyful days can turn into our most painful ones after the death of a family member. By creating new traditions, we can find joy in old celebrations once again. New traditions, while taking away the pain of the old, can keep alive the spirit behind the celebration and everything that was good about it.
Ma, how can we remember Dad forever?
As time passes, memories fade. The possibility of forgetting everything about the lost parent can be scary, particularly for young children. It is important to find ways to keep memories alive. Along with memories, keeping alive the spirit of the deceased parent can bring comfort and joy to the family.
Ma, what will make Dad happy?
Much as one wants to move on in life, there is often a lot of guilt associated with finding happiness again. It is crucial to realise that building a new life does not mean forgetting the deceased parent or replacing them. And that they would actually want us to be happy more than anything in the world.
This book will be published soon. Register your interest.
Share Your Own Experience
All of us can learn from each other. The Yo-Ya-Ma series showcases the techniques that Priya and her kids used to cope with their grief. We’d love to hear your story. Share your own experience in dealing with grief; it could just make someone else’s journey a lot easier.
These stories are very inspiring!
These books sound great! It is just the kind of resource that I was looking for.
Much needed! Haven’t heard of anything out there to help children cope with a parent’s death.
Books written from personal experience are always the most insightful. Thanks for doing this, Priya!